World weary and afraid, I begin again. I am so sick of dating apps. I'm tired of the people there. Everyone's a viable relationship until they aren't. We start over. How is your day? Where do you work? What are some of your hobbies and interests? Mine is not being let down over and over for one, what do you like to do?
I try not to be so pessimistic but it sucks doing everything on your own, y'know? Hauling the groceries inside in one trip by yourself is exhausting. Don't get me started on the other things.
Why do I always feel the need to explain myself?
I need to read more. That will take up the chunk of time left behind by that person.
Between people. Maybe.
I want to do more and more outlandish things until I meet the right one.
Maybe if I go skydiving the person teaching me will be interested in me or something.
Even more terrifying, what if I went to one of those meet and greets? A bunch of people sitting around a table talking about their kinks and 24/7 lifestyles. "Hello," I'd say, "I have little to no experience." And WHAM goes the target on my back.
When you live alone, you have to be very careful. Everything is a threat.
The neighbor that comes up to the balcony and asks for cigarettes, the psycho downstairs that bangs on your door about parking, the couple across the street that twerks in the driveway and fights all the time.
Even telling people you live alone can be a threat.
I have no upper body strength. Are you going to fight them off for me if shit hits the fan?
Didn't think so.
I do like some aspects of spirituality where they're like, "this happened for a reason."
(Unless shit DOES hit the fan, then I doubt that happened for a "reason". Nobody deserves that.)
It's comforting. Maybe we had a lesson to learn, or the universe tried to show us something.
There's a time and reason, a rhyme and a season.
Go with the flow.
Be grateful for your time together?
Or something like that.